Edit ... sort of

I have been informed by certain parties that my previous post has a number of wrong points in it. I would like to stress that this was my perspective on the issue at the time, using all of the information available to me.

I'm not going to change or remove the post, or discuss the details that were wrong here. Thats more of a personal issue, and just because I speak on my blog about some things, doesn't mean I have to air all of my laundry out here.

I have since had a discussion with an Individual that was technically on the opposite side of the event, although I am hesitant to use sides here as it makes the whole thing seem more trivial and catty than I think it is.

The end result of this was something we both agreed on and something I have in fact been presenting along with the story whenever I tell it. Both sides handled it badly in their own way. B should have canceled earlier, and should have confronted A with the other issues involved months earlier. This is obvious, and I think everyone agrees on that point.

The issue I have now is whether or not I should have understanding and feel empathy for A and their side of the story. What I have been presented with is a scenario in which A's intentions were good, thinking that bringing evidence to B that would allow B to go along with the plan that A assumed B really wanted to do, but couldn't because of false information. Unfortunately, A presented their findings in a manner that just pushed B further away and didn't solve anything.

I can't forget A's past activities, and I am sorry to the Individual for that. It is of course commendable that the Individual is willing to give A understanding, benefit of the doubt, and in many ways a clean slate, but that is not something that I feel obligated in anyway to do. I have informed the Individual of this.

As A is very fond of saying, only they can know the truth of their intentions and actions. Since I am not privy to A's thoughts and feelings (being another person entirely), all I have to then go on is the impression that A left with B and I on "that fateful Thursday night" (quotes cus' inside I'm also laughing at the whole thing). I think it's pretty obvious what I think of that impression, and the short of it is that A fucked it up.

So, the question remains as to whether or not I should forgive A for screwing up due to the fact that A is telling me that their intentions were good. A, I have been around you for a few years now, and I am not basing my opinion on this one incident. Your track record, in my eyes, speaks for its self. I feel that I have supported and/or forgiven you your activities and screw ups in my own way for a while now. This issue is relatively small when placed against the background of the rest of my relationship with you.

Since fairness is such an important issue for some of us, I ask then is it fair that I should have to be around someone that makes me unhappy? Should I have to jump on repairing a relationship with someone that I feel has poisoned my living and emotional environments? I don't think thats very fair to me, or to B.

This doesn't mean that I hate you. It pretty much means that I just don't want to interact with you for an in determinant period of time.

I don't think this is unfair.