'le sigh'

Aaaaand I'm in a slump again. But just for today ...

I'm feeling restless, like all I want to do is choose a direction and run. It happens every once in a while. I get to feeling like I'm not going anywhere, like I should be drawing and painting and writing and coding, all day and every day. Like I'm becoming stagnant - and I hate myself for it.

Then I look at everything everyone else is doing. I look at Deviant Art or Elfwood or, most recently, my co-workers, and I see just how much more it seems that they are accomplishing even with work. Meanwhile here I am, getting excited to buy some DnD miniatures tonight. I doodle little things on sticky-notes during calls, and I pick up my guitar maybe once a week.

These are the days I want to DO something, and these are the days when I think I'm not worthy to.

But ignore this post, as I've said in the past, cus' it'll pass. I know I'm being foolish and stoopid (yes stoopid), that I'm not quite as worthless as I appear to myself. I know that I'm not wasting my time quite as much as I think I am. I'm maintaining a wonderful relationship with an amazing girl. I'm having fun with my friends. I'm working 5 days a week, and going away on mini 'vacations' almost every weekend. I'm playing.

The reason I don't feel up to being artistic is that I'm often mentally drained by the time I get home, and just want to do mundane things, which isn't so bad. Sometimes I just need time to recharge.

So ignore this post, I know I shouldn't feel this way.
I'll just have to feel better, on some other day.