And now, somehow, all I hear is Celine Dion as background music. It's not all there, but I feel it coming back, slowly seeping into the pit of my stomach, into my bones and my teeth. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe, if I say yes, this time things will work out the way they should have. I layered it all under so much hate and fear, and yet as soon as I saw her again all I wanted to do was smile....

... but I missed a class this morning thinking about it, and a quiz in a lab too. This has to change, one way or another. I am going to have to start working tottaly on school ....

... I miss her. It is going to take me time to feel comfortable again, and perhapse even to fall as head over heals for her as I did before. We will just have to see. I've never given up before, though .... and I'm not willing to start now.